Alright, I would first like to apologize for not posting in so long. I kinda suck at this. But anyway, enough of that. Here goes.
It’s been almost two years now since I’ve been at Smith, and even though Smith felt like home pretty much from the moment I set foot on campus, I’ve been around here long enough now that being at Smith feels more normal than being somewhere else. This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, seeing as summer’s approaching and, just like last year, I’m staying in the States and working at Smith instead of going home. This isn’t something I do by choice. Plane tickets don’t come cheaply these days, and I need to focus on making my summer as monetarily painless as possible. If I had it my way, though, I’d spend at least a month (probably more) of my vacation in El Salvador with my friends and family, with the ocean I grew up in, with the warmth that I am used to, with everything that makes up the core of who I am.
I won’t lie, having to stay here instead of going home does cause some resentment in me. I remember last summer, somewhere in the middle of my break, I would go on Facebook and see pictures of all my friends back home together, see pictures of my nieces and how much they’d grown in the time I hadn’t seen them, or just even pictures of palm trees and sand, and I would feel so incredibly displaced. Mind you, I was also living alone in a house in Easthampton, 5 miles away from the nearest town and without any mode of independent transportation, so I spent a lot of my time sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I jumped at any chance for self-pity. Not that I’m complaining or anything. But anyway. My point is that I miss home. A lot.
But when I went home for winter break, by the end of it I found myself fantasizing about getting back to Smith and seeing my friends here. It’s easy to forget just how amazing Smith is, until you’re away from it. I’ve found that this is something a lot of Smithies experience, and I guess so does anyone who is in love with the school they attend. When you’re at Smith, you long for home, and when you’re home, you long for Smith. The truth is that Smith is just as much home to me as El Salvador is. It’s a strange feeling, to hold such different places in the same place in my heart. But I guess that this is something that everyone experiences. Going away to college is just the start of a series of many different homes. You move around from one to the other until you find one where you want to stay, but every place you settle in is just as legitimate as the rest.
I don’t know, I guess I’m just feeling nostalgic for El Salvador, or just extra lovey-dovey towards Smith. I just wanted to say that as much as I miss my original home right now, I know that in two years I’ll be pining for the time I spent here.
Blah di blah di blah, basically, I love you Smith College.